One Year Blogiversary

Woah, my moving pause lasted a little longer than expected. A few weeks ago was my one year blogiversary…. Not sure that was a word, but it is now.

To be honest, I have struggled with where, when, and how to start back up.

Lost in My Why

During this pause I have had the time to ponder and reflect on my why’s.

Why did I start this blog? And why am I so passionate about pursing it?

It really started as a hobby, with a deep down hope it could turn into something more, maybe someday….. Someday came much sooner than I ever expected. People have come out of the woodwork to show up for me. So many of you cheering me on, as I pursue this half baked idea.

I don’t feel worthy of it. Sometimes it’s even a bit intimidating.

I am no expert. I didn’t spend years in design school. I am certainly not a contractor, tho I pretend in my own home from time to time. I am just a regular girl who loves to create and grow. I feel most like myself, covered in paint and jamming with Jesus!

Part of me felt silly for pursing this passion. There are literally people starving to death, tragedy all over the world, and I am over here day dreaming about pillows, paint color, and furniture.

I have talked myself into and out of putting the whole thing on the back burner. I tell myself to wait until the boys are older. I have even wondered if God thinks I am misusing my time here on earth. Every time I turn away and start heading in another direction….I feel that darn nudge again, pulling me back!

Light Bulb Moment

Until recently, I could not explain this magnetism I have to create and style homes. I was covered in green paint, listing to a MOPs video featuring Arielle Estoria. All of the sudden the dots just connected. At one point in the video she said, “each of us are born to create.” I may be a nerd for admitting this, but I cried over that simple idea. I had felt so guilty for being so invested in decorating.

BUT….

The very first words in the bible are, “In the beginning God CREATED the heaven and Earth” (Gen 1:1). In verses 3-26 he creates all the things to fill the earth. Then he created mankind in his own image (Gen 1:27).

Lightbulb

God is THE creator of all things (the master of content creation)! Then he made us in his image. I know duh Cassie…….Clearly these are basic christian principals. I had never really put those two ideas together. It is the answer to WHY I am so drawn to create a home we love.

God made each of us in his image. He is the teacher, great physician, prince of peace, creator, protector, provider, and the list is endless. Each of us were created to reflect his image to the world differently from one another.

When God knitted me together, he put that creative desire there. No different than my desire to care for people and become a nurse. He ignited a passion to create a beautiful space to call home.

Funny looking back now, it has ALWAYS been there. From the time I had a barbie house and preferred to rearrange their furniture and outfits. To the “house” I made in the basement playroom with sheets and tape to divide the different rooms. To the hours of Christopher Lowel I watched in middle school, taking mental notes of all of his tips. Even my favorite Christmas gifts were those sets where you could make things from. This is such a natural part of who I am.

Until yesterday, I had this underlying feeling it was a frivolous to spend so much energy creating our home and sharing it. It doesn’t cure cancer, feed the hungry (aside from our hangry clan), or frankly provide measurable income for our family.

Its not frivolous.

The very first thing God created was our home. Then he filled it with things that would bless us and provide for us. Things that would nurture our bodies and minds. He filled it with beauty. Everyday he provides new artwork in the changing scenery. He doesn’t have to do that. He could use the same sunset, it would still fulfill it’s purpose. Of course God appreciates creating a home. It is the first thing he did for us. It is the reason he wired mothers with the urge to nest before their child arrives.

It is not frivolous to create a safe place to land at the end of the day.

It can’t be about the comparison game that sucks us in so darn fast it makes your head spin. It can’t be about perfection. It can’t be spotless, real life is messy. It can’t be about name brands or even the price tag.

For me it is about the process and sharing it. Knee deep in a project is where God molds the best version of Cassie. I become like clay on a potters wheel. Whether its spirit driven thoughts like all of this that occur to me, sermons poured over me, or simply worshiping him with my out of tune voice. Projects are my favorite place of connection, and when I feel most connected to him.

Even sitting here pouring all of this out on my keyboard, I feel his presence and peace.

My Hope

I hear people say all the time, “I am just not creative.” That’s absolutely not true. You may not be “artsy fartsy” (as my dad would say), but you were born to create.

What is your thing?

Maybe you are scared to start.

I spent years watching creators from the sidelines. Wanting to have the courage to try some of the things they were creating. Telling myself I could never be as good as so and so at that . You know what, I just may never be as “good” as any of those people. BUT…. I am better than the me I was a year ago, two years ago, and a decade ago. I am the Cassie God designed me to be, doing what he designed me to do.

You don’t need permission, you don’t need approval, and you don’t need anyone else as a measuring stick.

Courage is not the absence of fear, its moving forward in-spite of your fears.

Maybe you don’t even know what it is you are meant to create yet.

I have been lost too. I still have seasons where I question what is around the corner. Hence my long pause. Be patient. Living in the question marks is where my faith has grown the most.

My hope is that you find your place in the world to create and pursue it with all you’ve got (Col 3:23).

Gratitude

With every ounce of me I am so thankful for each of you. Thank you for showing up for me this year. You are part of my why. God calls us to live life in fellowship, to share it authentically, and to lift each other up.

I am cheering you on and praying you go full force in the direction of your dreams!