2018 Recap

Kicking Things Off

This year has brought on so much unforeseen joy!

I don’t typically do one single New Years Resolution. I thought it would be fun to share some of the highs of my year as well as lessons I learned.

Adventure

The last couple of years I have deliberately focused on slowing down to soak up the adventure in everyday life. My husband and I speak often about how blessed we are to have each other and our beautiful boys. We have both weathered some storms to get here and I think that makes us appreciate where we are now. There is so much joy and peace in the everyday moments like:

My Saturday morning ritual with Jax that starts with his chipper face right next to mine. He tries to “whisper” in his excitement, “Mama, it’s good morning time.” I love watching the sunrise on his little face. The way he lights up when the sun is actually up, because he knows that’s breakfast time. The endless hours we sat in the driveway watching Jax pedal my old pink bike around the cul de sac. The love hate relationship with Jax’s bedtime routine. It feels like a million years until he is actually in bed, but every night his sweet voice ask, ” mama will you snuggle with me.” Laying there he recounts the animated toddler version of the days events. (His version is always better than mine.) His bedtime prayer list never changes, “T, Wyatt, Teryl, and Daddy.” I don’t ever make the list, but that is okay. He makes up for it when he cups my cheeks in his small fingers, and says, “you’re a good mama boy.” ha- I always tell him he is such a good Jaxie boy.

It has been watching T transition from a kid to a full fledged teenager, girls and all! He truly does see himself as all grown up. I love that he still ask me the best way to handle the tough stuff. I hear all the time how people can’t get their teenagers to talk to them. It is my favorite that T still comes home to share the tails of high school social dynamics. It was the pure joy and giggles when he sneaks around the corner and shoots me with a nerf gun for the millionth time. He knows I hate being scared, but has my inate love for a prank. The best part is watching how he loves others. He has the biggest heart in the world whether its a baby bird, his brother, or a friend he ALWAYS considers their hearts.

It was my long talks with my husband as we navigate through life together. It was the way he cared for me when I was sick. How he stepped out of his comfort zone to show me love. The many hours we binge watched Netflix in his ugly as sin dual rocking recliner. The way the light cast across his face in bed as he reads. His constant quest for knowledge and growth is one of the qualities I really admire about him.

I could go on and on about this life of ours. It isn’t always perfect, but they cushion any blow. These boys are my why.

I am still in complete awe that God chose ME to be their mom and wife.

Simplify

To some extent simplify became my word for 2018. I don’t always choose a word for the year, but this was one that continued to ring on my heart. My brain is at times a tangled mess. I love tapping into my creativity and dreaming up elaborate plans. This has served me well in some areas, but left me my tank on empty in others.

Last April it became abundantly clear I needed to sit down and weed through how I was spending my time and energy. I had some areas that were taking up a lot of mental and emotional space. One by one I started identifying simple solutions I could live with and maintain. This is where my laundry hacks post was birthed.

I started blocking time for rest, and saying No. There is undeniable power in learning to become comfortable with no. It still isn’t always the easiest thing for me to do. I hate feeling like I am letting someone down, or heaven forbid missing out on a fun experience. I just needed to be more deliberate with my yes’s.

In a pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook world it is SOOOO easy to feel like everyone else is keeping those balls in the air flawlessly. Sometimes people even get the FALSE impression I do. Truthfully you can’t function at pinterest levels in every area of your life and keep your soul intact. It just is not possible. So I wash all materials and colors together,some nights my kids eat meals from a box, there are days when it looks like a tornado ravaged our house, but my heart is more often where it needs to be.

Matters of the Heart

There were some bumps this year. Circumstances where all I could do was lean into God praying simply to feel his peace. Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose” was a verse I clung to like a life raft.

Sometimes trials are like getting up to walk after a surgery. Such a mundane task, becomes a painful challenge. I find it interesting, it doesn’t matter what surgery you have, getting up to walk is a vital component to healing. As painful as it can be we are required to get up and put one foot in front of the other to heal and move forward.

I feel like God performed a few surgeries on my heart and soul this year. He allowed me to break, but only so he could heal me. He is the best physician.

This picture doesn’t look like much, its merely five words of a bible verse. We were challenged during a MOPs meeting to create bible verse cards. I didn’t get very far before I shoved it in my pocket, and raced to get Jax.

Nearly a month later my uncle passed away unexpectedly. He has always lived across the country so I didn’t see him often. The last few years he made a priority to make it home for the big things. It was something I really admired about him. He was charismatic and a natural leader in a family of ten children.

While I was heading to the airport my heart was heavy for his children, wife, and siblings. I reached into my pocket and pulled out this half scribbled verse. I didn’t even remember where it came from at first, but I just started bawling. Those five words carried me through 2018. Whenever I felt fear pressing on my heart I thought of this verse. John 14:27 ” Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid”

The Leap

It was in those trials and growth that I turned to my creative outlets. They have always been therapeutic. I knew it was time to listen to the tug on my heart to create a blog.

I am a bit of a perfectionist, it was challenging to start. I have all of these amazing and elaborate plans stuck in my head. I knew I had to live outside of my ideal world and into the real one. This is not perfect, it doesn’t measure up to the dreams in my head. I am never really ready to hit the publish button, but I have learned to continue to put one foot in front of the other. Whenever I get discouraged God always plants a sliver of encouragement and peace.

For all of the people that read each post, send sweet comments, write messages, and pull me aside to give a word of encouragement I cannot thank you enough. I know in my heart God is pushing me to challenge myself as a writer and creator. The world is can be a scary and harsh. Each of you have provided a beacon of light for me as I navigate this journey. I only hope I can return the favor.

2-18 was such an amazing year of joy, peace, and growth I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for 2019!